Saw this guy on the Howard Stern Show a long time ago, thought he was great and just found him on YouTube. My gawd this guy is offensive. Yet hilarious.
**This is the UNCENSORED version of Yucko**
This Blog is about random things that pop into my head, things that I like and things that I hate.
I'm Old Gregg!
A buddy of mine had me watch this, and my gawd is it funny.
Old Gregg is a transsexual merman who occasionally refers to his vagina (which emits a blinding light) as his "mangina." He inhabits a cave below the lake in a village called Black Lake. Old Gregg is extremely fond of Bailey's Irish Cream, as well as being a watercolor painter.
Kings Island History - The King Cobra
I was bored at work the other day and started looking up roller coasters on various websites…mostly I checked out King’s Island, and the Disney parks. But I found out some pretty interesting stuff.
I love King's Island, and have been there more times than I can count. I don’t remember the first time I went to King’s Island, but do know that I was very young. The park today doesn’t resemble much at all what I saw as a child. Other than the tower, fountains, and the shops, and a handful of rides, the park looks much different today.
There was episode of the Brady Bunch several years back that was filmed at King’s Island. Though the episode was filmed years before I ever went there, their footage looks more like the park I remember visiting at an early age.
One of the most intriguing to me was the King Cobra; as it was a coaster I was always too scared to ride as a kid. I remember just looking at the coaster in awe, hoping one day I would find the courage to take a ride. From a kid's P-O-V, the King Cobra was kind of stunning. It was fast, it was green, it went upside down, and the riders were standing! Sadly, the coaster was gone before I found my love for coasters. Shame.
The King Cobra opened in 1984 (and was originally located where Delirium is today), and was America's first true stand-up coaster. The Cobra lasted about 2 minutes, and reached a top speed of 50mph. Even as rides around it were removed and others built, Cobra held its place for many years, until problems began. King Cobra would operate successfully for 17 years.
In 2001, King Cobra's manufacturer closed their US offices. This posed a problem for Kings Island officials, as getting replacement parts for the ride's systems immediately became difficult. Faced with mounting bills for parts, and the fact that King Cobra's popularity had greatly dropped over the last couple years, the park made the decision to remove the coaster.
In April of 2002, at about the same time Kings Island opened for the season, crews arrived and began to dismantle the ride. The last known status of the King Cobra is that it was up for sale, but has never sold.
So what happened to the King? What happened to this impressive green structure named after one of the deadliest snakes known to man? What happened to this Sadly, The King Cobra was taken down in 2002 to make space for Delirium. I remember going back after a couple of summers and was shocked to see The Cobra missing.
Kings Island - The Antique Cars
Growing up, I spent a lot of time in Cincinnati. One of my older sisters was diagnoses with Lupus when she was in the 6th grade. So I guess I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade at the time. Our family took countless trips to a hospital in Cincinnati, every year. I didn’t go on every trip, but went on more than I care to count.
On MOST trips, my mom and dad would try to bring some sort of happiness and laughter out of a sad, depressing, and difficult hospital visit. Whether it be a Red’s game, a trip to the zoo, or a common trip to King’s Island, my mom and dad did their best. It’s strange, because the older I get, the more I realize just how difficult of a time that had to have been for my folks…having a child that is ill and there is nothing in their control they can do about it….I can’t imagine.
So I was a King’s Island regular. And while I loved going to the park, I never rode anything exciting. I was scared of heights and was absolutely terrified of riding roller coasters. Both of my sisters and my dad loved them, so that left me and my mom spending much of the day together.
I remember my oldest sister would try to get me to ride something, anything, and I would always chose not to. I recall I never asked or hinted that I would ride something anyway, so I know I wasn’t seeking attention. I wasn’t hoping they would keep asking me to ride it. I wouldn’t dare…because my sister would go off on how much of a “chicken” I was. I suppose she was right, but comeon. I didn’t want to ride them, and I never understood why she cared that I didn’t.
After being somewhat bombarded because I didn’t want to ride The Beast or something else, my mom would always help pick my spirits up. My mom and I didn’t do a whole lot together growing up, but King’s Island has always been one of the few great memories I have with my mom.
We started by usually getting some sort of souvenir, and she’d usually get me some overpriced juice drink in a cheap Scooby Doo bottle. It was our “secret” that she bought it for me, and we wouldn’t tell my dad. Now, my dad always knew, I’m sure…I didn’t just find a plastic Scooby Doo head, and my dad wouldn’t have cared anyway, but it was always fun to try to keep it from him.
My mom and I would go to a lot of the shows, ride the train, shop in the stores, ride a few rides, and it was often the same things every year. But one ride that REALLY stands out were the Antique Cars. My mom and I would ride those several times in one visit to King’s Island. I’d sit in the front and she’d ride in the back and I would drive her along the set path. Looking back it, I really admire her. She didn’t like rides either, so it was obvious we’d be together, but she was always so kind. The day before she’d be in a hospital listening to my sister cry while they put huge needles in her back. But then and there she was with me, with her family, and she did the best she could to make us smile. It’s just amazing to me.
I remember the cars so vividly, and I honestly felt a little sadness when I discovered that they were removed from the park.
Anyhow, The Antique Cars had one of the longest stays at King’s Island, as it operated from 1972 to 2004. All the ride consisted of was an old antique car (imagine that) on a guided track that allowed you to drive over bridges and around trees. Up to four people can fit in a car, one driver and three passengers. The cars went about 5mph, so the ride seemed to last awhile.
It was two tracks, one with a station in Rivertown, and the other in Coney Mall. The Rivertown track stopped operation around 1997.
The space given to the Antique Cars was actually quite large considering how boring the ride itself was. As a child I really enjoyed it, because I was able to drive a car on what looked closed enough to an actually road…it even had street signs!
Sadly, the cars and tracks were removed in August of 2004, and a new Italian Job Stunt Track coaster was added to the park. It was rumored that the cars were too old and were falling apart. It is also said that the cars are fine, and there is talk of putting the Antique Cars back in at King’s Island, just at a different location in the park.
And it’s also been said that the cars (or at least some of them) were sent to the World of Fun theme park, where they are used on an attraction much like they were at King’s Island (called the Le Taxi Tour at WOF).
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