The Stonecutter.

One of my favorite stories:

There was once a stonecutter, who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day, as he passed a wealthy merchant's house, and through the gateway, saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful the merchant must be!" thought the stonecutter. He became very envious, and wished that he could be like the merchant. Then he would no longer have to live the life of a mere stonecutter.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying the more luxuries and power than he had ever dreamed of, envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. But soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants, and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around, who had to bow down before him as he passed. It was a hot summer day, and the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everyone below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, hated and feared by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it - a huge, towering stone. "How powerful that stone is!" he thought. I wish I could be the stone!"

Then he became the stone, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the solid rock, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the stone?" he thought. He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stonecutter.

In Loving Memory Of...

I just don't understand them.  I have had loved ones pass away, but never did I have the thought I should put a sticker on my car about it.  To me, those individuals meant more than that.

It seems everywhere I turn someone has a sticker on their back window reading "In loving memory of..." with the years this a person lived and then died.   I have to ask again why you think anyone else cares? When I'm behind you at a red light am I supposed to go "OH HOW SAD, I'm going to cry now for a dead stranger!"? Do you think other people will look at you and go "Now there's a good person, they remember their dead loved ones"? I don't care who lived or died in your family and no one else but you cares either. Yes, it's so sad that your 4 year old died - but why do I need to see it on the back of your car? So that I know when you cut in front of me without a turn signal it's probably because you're crying and depressed?  

Seeing the "In loving memory..." stickers makes me more think you are so inconsiderate that you can't even remember the person who died without a sticker on your back window to tell you what their name was and when they died. What happens when another family member dies do you have to put them on the back too? If you don't does it mean you didn't like them anyway?  Hope you don't outlive the rest of your family or you'll have a dozen "In loving memory..." stickers on your back window.

And how about the companies that make and sale these things?  They are profiting off the death of someone, and those who can't quite seem to get over it.  Where is the backlash?

If someone puts my name and death date on the rear window of their minivan or old pick up truck when I die, I swear, I will come back and haunt them forever.

I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas...

1 didn't even know her name until last Christmas.  But I hate Gayla Peevy.  I've never met her, I don't know her, but I hate her just the same.  I spent most of my life enjoying every element of the Christmas Season until about 5 years ago when I hear it for the first time; the gawd-awful mess that is "I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas." 

I have never heard anything more ridiculous in my life.  My hate for this pile of sh*t is two fold: 1- the singing will cause your ears to bleed. 2 - Annoying ass moms call into the radio station to request it so their snot nosed little kids can get 2 and a half minutes of joy before they bitch about something else they want. This song is a cancerous ear worm that lingers in it's victims longer than fruitcake in the pantry. 

Absent in this Christmas tune are thoughts of warm feelings, Christmas cheer, the story of the nativity, or anything else that makes the Christmas season so enjoyable.  The only thing this little ditty teaches kids is bad rhymes and it also promotes unreasonable expectations.

So Gayla Peevy, I hate you.  And you Hippopotamus.

Impact Wrestling...where is the logic?

I am a fan of Impact Wrestling, but sometimes it is just aggrivating to watch. I've created a short list of things that IW could do IMMEDIATELY that would improve their production.

1 - Gaps in logic - the Dependence of Events that SHOULD be random.

Impact Wrestling does a sh*tty job of exploiting what should be "random events" so things will fit into a storyline. To me, it is just lazy.

Last night's ref bump was a prime example. The ref went down, to which Hogan made his entrance with a chair, to which Angle was able to use on Sting, get the pinfall, and then stare at Hogan.

What if the ref wouldn't have been bumped? What would Hogan have done? Did he just know/hope the ref would go down so he could come down with a chair? Was he sitting in the back just waiting and hoping the ref would go down?

Isn't Hogan an authority figure in IW? If he wanted Sting to lose, did he have to wait by the entrance for the ref bump so he could interfere? Couldn't he just stack the deck against Sting and add stipulations?

The whole bump/interference just didn't (and rarely does) make sense. Based on last night, Sting could have beaten Angle before Hogan had the chance to bring in the chair. Why would Hogan take the chance?

It just doesn't add up, and serves as an eye-rolling, unbelievable moment that reeks of a scripted, phony show. I know it is fake, but when the action and storylines are presented as "real," then these should-be random events happen, it should still be believable.

2 - Kayfabe or no Kayfabe? Consistency Matters

IW goes back and forth on their presentation of wrestling being real, and wrestling being fake. We all know wrestling is fake...but what is enjoyable is when you can get so captivated in the storylines and in-ring action that you forget it is fake.

With IW, they blur it to the point that it becomes distracting from the storylines and matches.

Another example that comes to mind is Impact Wrestling's use of "Hervey Cam" that shows a wrestler's feelings on an opponent or match. It's presented in a way that adds a degree of realism, and it works.

Viewers SHOULD be able to forget it is fake, without it being constantly thrown in our face that it is. For example, Sting has been a crazy clown for the last several weeks. Yet when he is in the ring with Kurt Angle for a contract signing, he's sane again. Which is it?

So the weeks of trying to convince the audience that Sting is crazy, it is thrown away for a three minute promo where Sting is normal. The constant back and forth of "real life" and "storyline" does nothing but cause distractions to the stories they are trying to tell.

3 - Lose the "insider terms"

The word "ratings" should never be uttered during a wrestling show. Ever. Yet rarely is there a night of Impact where it isn't mentioned, at least once by an announcer, wrestler, or authority figure.

Those wrestling fans who care about what kind of TV rating Impact gets, knows it isn't much...so why mention it? Those fans that don't follow wrestling online, and will never know what TV rating Impact gets, still don't care.

Instead of TALKING about the TV Ratings that the "network" wants, why not focus and delivering stories and wrestling matches that will actually ATTRACT TV viewers? These are just a couple of examples of things said to try to cater to the "Internet Wrestling Community," but all it does is remind their viewers that what they are watching is bullsh*t....that the match isn't about a storyline involving two guys, it's just about the "ratings."

4 - No more Gimmick Matches (at least for awhile)

This is a bit different than the other points I mentioned, but Impact Wrestling has to scale back their use of gimmick matches. Their talent SHOULD be able to tell a story without a gimmick match, and the gimmick match should only ADD to the storyline.

They have a bad history of having gimmick matches for the sake of having gimmick matches. And when they have a gimmick match, say...a cage match....it doesn't make sense to have it in a cage. When a cage match is just thrown together as a regular match, or other wrestlers can enter the cage an interfere, then why even have the cage to begin with?

There is no increase in excitement when Impact Wrestling offers a gimmick match, because they have been done too often, with no logic, and with no need.

Much like the breaks in "reality" and "storyline" IW goes back and forth on, when you have a 4 minute ladder match as a part of the BFG series, why should one be excited to see a ladder match when it would actually benefit feud/storyline?

5 - Will the person in charge please stand up?

Who is in charge of TNA? Bischoff? Hogan? Sting? Foley? Flair? Other "network" executives? And why is Dixie Carter still being mentioned?

When so many individuals are in control, it begs the questions "why?" Why doesn't Hogan just fire Sting? Why doesn't Hogan stack the deck so that Immortal (his selected group) have every title and complete control?

What exactly are Fortune and Immortal fighting over anyways?

Impact Wrestling is trying to be too many things at once...and by doing so they are leaving huge plot-holes, gaps in logic, and delivering show after show that delivers no Impact (pun intended) and that won't be remembered by next week's show.

Hulk Hogan Day, Brother!

Oh, you didn't know?

Hulk Hogan Day is just under a week away! BROTHER! And I am looking forward to it, BROTHER!

Hulk Hogan Day is always observed on the second Saturday in August, which is on August the 12th this year. So why celebrate Hulk Hogan Day? Well I will answer that question by asking another one...why not celebrate Hulk Hogan Day?

Hulk Hogan is arguably the most recognized and influential professional wrestler of all time. Without Hulk Hogan, the world of professional wrestling, as we know it, would not exist. Hulk Hogan is a household name, and the only wrestler to be covered on Sports Illustrated. He has entertained millions and millions of wrestling fans across the globe for more than three decades.

There will never be another Hulk Hogan, and there will never be a phenomenon like Hulk-a-Mania. So The reason I will celebrate Hulk Hogan day is to pay homage to The Legend, the Icon, the Immortal...Hulk Hogan!

That is why I am going to celebrate the day...but if you find yourself intregaed, and find yourself wanting to celebrate, but not sure as to why...try one of these reasons:

- To liven up a nondescript mid-August afternoon.
- To goof around with friends and family.
- To get back in touch with your childhood hero (or my childhood hero at least)
- To celebrate the "good old days" of classic wrestling.
- To have fun!
- To introduce a new generation of kids to the larger-than-life character of Hulk Hogan.

Now, there are several ways in which your can enjoy the day, and spread the Hulktide cheer this August 15th...and I will list 17 of them here...one for each World Title held by the Hulkster...BROTHER!

1. Play the Hulkster's classic 'Real American' theme song on your computer or in your car. Or set the theme as your ring tone for the day. Don't have a copy? Download it here: http://www.hulkhogan.co.uk/realamerican.mp3

2. Wear a brightly-colored bandana on your head...preferably red and/or yellow.

3. Wear red and yellow feather boas and sunglasses. If workplace dress codes forbid this, you could wear a red or yellow tie or outfit to the office.

4. Flex your arms at random intervals throughout the day. This one if one of my favorites. Imagine standing in the checkout line at a store and then just instantly breaking out the Hogan pose...awesome. Just awesome.

5. Have a posing contest with friends to see who can do the best Hogan impression.

6. Buy a can of Hogan's Enegery Drink. And like it.

7. Watch your favorite Hulk Hogan matches or interview moments. I would like to watch every Hulk Hogan WrestleMania Appearance, and will definitely try to.

8. Watch at least one of Hulk Hogan's films. Watching any more than one in one day could be hazardous to your health, so make sure you pick your favorite. Suburban Commando and No Holds Barred would be good choices.

9. Punctuate sentences with the phrases 'dude' and 'brother.' For example, "I'm going to go outside and get the mail, brother." Or "You should have seen that crap, dude!"

10. Reenact famous moments in Hulk Hogan history with your friends or a family member. Taking turns body slamming each other (as Hulk slammed Andre at WrestleMania III) is a great way to continue the Hulkster's legend alive.

11. Grab your shirt and rip it down the center. And then throw it to a child nearby.

12. Wear yellow spandex tights around the house. If you don't have yellow tights, get some tighty-whitey underwear and paint them yellow.

13. Put a yellow and red sign in your car windows with the words "Honk for Hogan" on it. And if a car doesn't honk, pull out the driver, kick his ass, and spray-paint nWo on his back.

14. Call radio stations and request that they play Jimmie Hendrix "Voodoo Child" (Hogan's WCW Theme music) in honor if it being Hulk Hogan Day.

15. Cup your hand to your ear in an exaggerated motion throughout the day. This is another one of my favorites. Whenever you can't hear someone, cup your ear and have them repeat. Then knock them down and hit them with the big leg drop.

16. Get your weight lifting belt (if you don't have one, buy one) and play the air guitar on it as you enter a room.

17. Say your prayers and Take your Vitamins

BROTHER!

Ray Lamontagne - One Lonesome Saddle

well we rode into town like a couple of fools
high on the mezcal, bent low on my mule
i's just trying to find some place where a man might find some rest
wash the tears from my eyes and the blood from my vest

one lonesome saddle
one long and lonesome ride
one lonely cowboy
pining a woman unkind

walked into the saloon on my feet that felt like lead
cold steel hammer pounding into the back of my head
i raise up my glass to the quick and to the dead
saying hey he ain't heavy and a bottle of red

one lonesome saddle
one long and lonesome ride
one lonely cowboy
pining a woman unkind

as the glass it left my lips, i felt her hand upon me
her smile it was so warm but her eyes were so cold
she says to me now, "won't you please walk beside me"
i just shut my mouth and i did as i was told

one lonesome saddle
one long and lonesome ride
one lonely cowboy
pining a woman, cold-hearted woman
pining a woman unkind

Zombie Ants!

I didn't believe this when I first heard of it, but this is pretty crazy.

King's Island - Black Sunday

The darkest day in the history of King’s Island came on Sunday June 9, 1991.  It was on that day when three park guests died from incidents inside of the park. 

The Oktoberfest Pond Tragedy:

At approximately 8:30 in the evening, Timothy Benning (22)entered the park's pond located next to the Octoberfest Beir Garden to, apparently, retrieve a lost item. Upon entering the restricted area he was shocked due to an electrical current (later determined to be coming from a defective water circulation pump.) When he screamed and fell unconscious in the shallow water, his friend William Haithcoat (20) jumped in to pull him out. Immediately Haithcoat was shocked. Upon hearing the screams a park security officer, Darrel Robertson (20) jumped in attempting to help and was also shocked. Ironically the rescuers... Haithcoat and Robertson died, but Benning survived. The Octoberfest area of the park was emptied immediately, and closed off. Helicopters landed in the park to life-flight the victims to the hospital. They were undergoing CPR when they left.

Timothy Binning (22)took his buddy William Haithcoat (21)to Kings Island as his guest at the Ameritrust employee picnic.  It is not completely clear what happened, except that at around 8:30pm, for reasons which are unknown, Binning entered the water of the pond surrounding the Bier Garten. (it is believed that he entered to retrieve a dropped souvenir, but this cannot be confirmed.  He felt an electrical shock, which apparently knocked him face-down in the pond and left him unable to get back up.

Noticing that his friend was in trouble, Haithcoat jumped in to try and rescue Binning from the shallow water.  He too received an electrical shock. 

Meanwhile, 20-year-old Kings Island security guard Darrell Robertson was walking down the boardwalk and noticed trouble.  He jumped into the shallow pond in an effort to save both men, but also received an electrical shock.  Apparently, a child was screaming by now about someone drowning in the pond, which prompted Howard Heath, 31, and two others to the site of the incident.  Heath touched the water, but by now the circuit breaker had apparently tripped, because he felt no electric current.  Heath and one of the other two men pulled Robertson and Haithcoat from the water.  Heath's girlfriend, Paula Earls, a 27-year-old nurse from Indianapolis, administered CPR on the victims as they were pulled from the pond. 

Binning was face-down and submerged at this point, so Heath and the other rescuer held the ankles of a third man, who pulled Binning out of the pond.  Each of the victims began to breathe again before being taken away by emergency personnel.  Binning was taken to Bethesda hospital, where he recovered and was released in a couple of days.  Robertson and Haithcoat were taken to the University of Cincinnati medical center, where they were both pronounced dead at about 10:00pm.  The official cause of death was electrochoution.  The resulting investigation identified a defective submerged aerator pump, used to circulate the pond water and inhibit algae growth, as the cause of the electrical shocks.  OSHA also fined Kings Island $23,500 for various violations relating to the accident including bad electrical grounds, improper circuit breakers, and improper railings around the pond.


The Flight Commander Incident:

One hour and fifteen minutes after the incident at the Oktoberfest Pond, tragedy again struck.  Candy Taylor, a 5-foot-5-inch tall 32-year-old mother of two was visiting Kings Island with two friends, Gary Oakley and Doreen Rassmussen, from a truck-driving school, where Taylor was a student.  They had been at the park all day, "sipping beers" and riding almost every ride in the park.  Oakley and Rassmussen rode the Flight Commander while Taylor finished her beer.  When Oakley and Rassmussen's ride was finished, Taylor boarded the Flight Commander, an Intamin "Flight Trainer" ride.  Witnesses indicated she showed no outward signs of intoxication, though her autopsy would show a blood alcohol content of 0.30, which is three times the limit allowed for motor vehicle operators in Ohio.

Taylor entered the #4 tub on the ride, and closed the shoulder harness and lap bar.  Ride attendants checked both bars to insure that they were properly locked, and the ride began its cycle.  Witnesses claim that the ride made four full rotations and Taylor's tub made no maneuvers.  Then, it performed a slow roll to the left, rolling through two rotations.  On the second rotation, Taylor fell from the capsule, striking the ground head first.  She was rushed to Miami Valley Hospital, where she was pronounced dead of multiple body trauma at 10:34 pm.

According to the Department of Agriculture investigators, Taylor was probably unconscious, probably with a leg against the joystick in the middle of the seat causing the capsule to roll.  State investigators believe that during the roll, Taylor slipped from her seat, over the divider, and into the vacant seat, out from under the restraints.  Representatives of Intamin claimed that was impossible, but ride inspectors were able to demonstrate how it could happen if a solo rider were riding in a capsule with the restraints open on the vacant seat.  Careful examination of the ride ruled out any mechanical failure; the State of Ohio ruled that the ride suffered from a design flaw, and noted that improvements would be required before the ride could operate again.  The state did not specify what changes had to be made, but did suggest either a higher seat divider or a seat belt.

At one point, attorneys for Taylor's estate wondered if an optional clear plastic cover over the capsule would have prevented her from falling from the ride, but park officials noted that the covers...which Kings Island did not install...were designed to restrain falling objects (keys, cameras, wallets, etc) and would not be able to stop a falling body.  

The ride was closed for the remainder of 1991, and re-opened in 1992.  The aftermath was to install a higher seat divider in the tub, and to put a guard around the joystick so you had to operate it with your hands, it could no longer be bumped by legs. By then though the ride already had a stigma, and after several years of catering to very small ridership, was removed after a few years. A Eurobungy sits on its site.

The Format - Snails EP

"Snails" was the first song by The Format that I heard and just loved.  At first listening it really stuck a chord with me, and still does to this day.  There are several elements of life that is touched on in the song, but primarily it is about taking things slow and not rushing into things.  A good portion of the song deals with relationships...relationships with someone you love...not just sex; being able to appreciate the smaller details that comes before sex that can make it amazing; a smile, a brush on the arm, or an afternoon lying in the grass.  Snails, being slow by nature, have that advantage over other living things...good stuff.

Nico, take it slow
Show me that you care
And loves just not a flare on my sleeve
Sleep well, I pray that cardboard boxes,
Set the perfect stage.
'Cause wood grain makes all man made things seem so out of date
Life is not a play, it's what we
Make of the people we love.

Snails see the benefits
The beauty in every inch
Oh why, why, why, why, why, why
Are you quick to kiss?
She bites at blades and leaves
God damn you shrubbery
Well I�m sick of vanity plates
Should we move to the UK?
'Cause life here in the states has escaped
All the people in love
What we make of these people we love

Snails see the benefits
The beauty in every inch
Oh why, why, why, why, why
Are you quick to kiss?
Baby, maybe I spoke to soon
I'll touch you once you make the first move
Snails see the benefits
The beauty in every inch

I watch her as she runs
My mother jumps the gun
She puts her in her arms
That is just like my mom
Never lets go, never lets me grow old
I wanna pay her back
But love is nothing you can tax
My family�s not rich by any means
But I feel we won the lottery, that day
The rock swallowed the girl
And I cried as cameras caught my eyes
My tears turned into butterflies
They fly away as caskets close
A new day comes you�ll wake unfold
Smile when you feel the sunlight
You feel the sunlight
You feel the sunlight

Snails see the benefits
The beauty in every inch
Oh why, why, why, why, why
Are you quick to kiss?
Baby, maybe I spoke to soon
I'll touch you once you make the first move
Snails see the benefits
The beauty in every inch
Oh snails see the benefits
The beauty in every inch

Yucko the Clown

Saw this guy on the Howard Stern Show a long time ago, thought he was great and just found him on YouTube.  My gawd this guy is offensive.  Yet hilarious.

**This is the UNCENSORED version of Yucko**

I'm Old Gregg!

A buddy of mine had me watch this, and my gawd is it funny. 

Old Gregg is a transsexual merman who occasionally refers to his vagina (which emits a blinding light) as his "mangina." He inhabits a cave below the lake in a village called Black Lake. Old Gregg is extremely fond of Bailey's Irish Cream, as well as being a watercolor painter.

Kings Island History - The King Cobra

I was bored at work the other day and started looking up roller coasters on various websites…mostly I checked out King’s Island, and the Disney parks. But I found out some pretty interesting stuff.

I love King's Island, and have been there more times than I can count.  I don’t remember the first time I went to King’s Island, but do know that I was very young. The park today doesn’t resemble much at all what I saw as a child.  Other than the tower, fountains, and the shops, and a handful of rides, the park looks much different today. 

There was episode of the Brady Bunch several years back that was filmed at King’s Island. Though the episode was filmed years before I ever went there, their footage looks more like the park I remember visiting at an early age.

Anyhow, on several websites I saw photos and sections on specific rides, many that are no longer at the park. (I remember a Smurf’s themed ride, but could only find a little information on it).   I became somewhat obsessed with uncovering any information I could on these rides that gave me so many memories as a child. 

One of the most intriguing to me was the King Cobra; as it was a coaster I was always too scared to ride as a kid.  I remember just looking at the coaster in awe, hoping one day I would find the courage to take a ride.  From a kid's P-O-V, the King Cobra was kind of stunning.  It was fast, it was green, it went upside down, and the riders were standing!   Sadly, the coaster was gone before I found my love for coasters.  Shame.

The King Cobra opened in 1984 (and was originally located where Delirium is today), and was America's first true stand-up coaster. The Cobra lasted about 2 minutes, and reached a top speed of 50mph.   Even as rides around it were removed and others built, Cobra held its place for many years, until problems began. King Cobra would operate successfully for 17 years.

In 2001, King Cobra's manufacturer closed their US offices. This posed a problem for Kings Island officials, as getting replacement parts for the ride's systems immediately became difficult.  Faced with mounting bills for parts, and the fact that King Cobra's popularity had greatly dropped over the last couple years, the park made the decision to remove the coaster.

In April of 2002, at about the same time Kings Island opened for the season, crews arrived and began to dismantle the ride. The last known status of the King Cobra is that it was up for sale, but has never sold. 

So what happened to the King? What happened to this impressive green structure named after one of the deadliest snakes known to man? What happened to this Sadly, The King Cobra was taken down in 2002 to make space for Delirium. I remember going back after a couple of summers and was shocked to see The Cobra missing.

 

Today, remnants of this once massive stand-up thrill ride, that provided thousands if not millions of people a good time, are stored throughout the park.  The trains are located inside Flight of Fear's main ride building, and a lot of the track and supports are stored back behind Racer and Flight of Fear, next to the fireworks launching strip. Additional track and supports are stored in the prairie land behind Son of Beast, which once housed animals for Lion Country Safari.

Kings Island - The Antique Cars

 Growing up, I spent a lot of time in Cincinnati. One of my older sisters was diagnoses with Lupus when she was in the 6th grade. So I guess I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade at the time. Our family took countless trips to a hospital in Cincinnati, every year. I didn’t go on every trip, but went on more than I care to count.

On MOST trips, my mom and dad would try to bring some sort of happiness and laughter out of a sad, depressing, and difficult hospital visit. Whether it be a Red’s game, a trip to the zoo, or a common trip to King’s Island, my mom and dad did their best. It’s strange, because the older I get, the more I realize just how difficult of a time that had to have been for my folks…having a child that is ill and there is nothing in their control they can do about it….I can’t imagine.

So I was a King’s Island regular. And while I loved going to the park, I never rode anything exciting. I was scared of heights and was absolutely terrified of riding roller coasters. Both of my sisters and my dad loved them, so that left me and my mom spending much of the day together.

I remember my oldest sister would try to get me to ride something, anything, and I would always chose not to. I recall I never asked or hinted that I would ride something anyway, so I know I wasn’t seeking attention. I wasn’t hoping they would keep asking me to ride it. I wouldn’t dare…because my sister would go off on how much of a “chicken” I was. I suppose she was right, but comeon. I didn’t want to ride them, and I never understood why she cared that I didn’t.

After being somewhat bombarded because I didn’t want to ride The Beast or something else, my mom would always help pick my spirits up. My mom and I didn’t do a whole lot together growing up, but King’s Island has always been one of the few great memories I have with my mom.

We started by usually getting some sort of souvenir, and she’d usually get me some overpriced juice drink in a cheap Scooby Doo bottle. It was our “secret” that she bought it for me, and we wouldn’t tell my dad. Now, my dad always knew, I’m sure…I didn’t just find a plastic Scooby Doo head, and my dad wouldn’t have cared anyway, but it was always fun to try to keep it from him.

My mom and I would go to a lot of the shows, ride the train, shop in the stores, ride a few rides, and it was often the same things every year. But one ride that REALLY stands out were the Antique Cars. My mom and I would ride those several times in one visit to King’s Island. I’d sit in the front and she’d ride in the back and I would drive her along the set path. Looking back it, I really admire her. She didn’t like rides either, so it was obvious we’d be together, but she was always so kind. The day before she’d be in a hospital listening to my sister cry while they put huge needles in her back. But then and there she was with me, with her family, and she did the best she could to make us smile. It’s just amazing to me.

I remember the cars so vividly, and I honestly felt a little sadness when I discovered that they were removed from the park.

Anyhow, The Antique Cars had one of the longest stays at King’s Island, as it operated from 1972 to 2004. All the ride consisted of was an old antique car (imagine that) on a guided track that allowed you to drive over bridges and around trees. Up to four people can fit in a car, one driver and three passengers. The cars went about 5mph, so the ride seemed to last awhile.

It was two tracks, one with a station in Rivertown, and the other in Coney Mall. The Rivertown track stopped operation around 1997.

The space given to the Antique Cars was actually quite large considering how boring the ride itself was. As a child I really enjoyed it, because I was able to drive a car on what looked closed enough to an actually road…it even had street signs!

Sadly, the cars and tracks were removed in August of 2004, and a new Italian Job Stunt Track coaster was added to the park.   It was rumored that the cars were too old and were falling apart. It is also said that the cars are fine, and there is talk of putting the Antique Cars back in at King’s Island, just at a different location in the park.

And it’s also been said that the cars (or at least some of them) were sent to the World of Fun theme park, where they are used on an attraction much like they were at King’s Island (called the Le Taxi Tour at WOF).

Wrestling Video Games

Anyone that knows me and knows me well, know that video games and pro wrestling are two of my favorite things. And when you combine the two, I am pretty close to Heaven. That being said, a recent conversation with a friend about wrestling video games seemed to re-spark my interest in games played years before.

That being said, I thought I'd take a look at the games that helped fuel my love for professional wrestling, and the wrestling that helped feul my love for video games:

WWF WrestleMania - NES

This is one of the first Nintendo games that I owned. To tell the truth, it really doesn’t have a lot going for it. Back then, it was fantastic! I used to play the hell out of it with my friend Johnny, that lived down the street. I used to kick his a**, too!

There were only six wrestlers (Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Ted DiBiase, Randy Savage, The Honky Tonk Man, and Bam Bam Bigelow), and they all had exactly the same moves. But we still argued over who could be Hogan. Andre was the backup. It is still fun to play, but purely for nostalgia’s sake. The only major advancement this game brought to the table was that it was the first wrestling to to feature actual pro wrestlers.

The moves were sloppy, the punches were hard to land, and there was the bizarre touch of power-up items thrown into the ring by one of the unseen fans...but still, I heart this game!

WWF Wrestlemania Challenge – NES

It’s a testament to how WWF crazy I was when I bought this that. If this game WASN’T licensed by the WWF and didn’t have their characters on the game, it would have been a complete waste. Since it was licensed and did have their characters on the game, it barely becomes playable.

There were a few nice touches such as each wrestler’s entrance music playing while they were in the ring, featuring a particularly good rendition of Rick Rude’s theme and a surprisingly good one for Andre which was composed just for the game (in reality Andre never had entrance music).

It was also impossible for the smaller wrestlers to suplex Andre or The Big Boss Man due to their size, although somewhat inconsistently the Ultimate Warrior could press Andre over his head and throw him clean out of the ring which was irksome as once thrown out – it was impossible for Andre to get back in for some reason.

Glitches include horrendous slowdown, wrestlers occasionally walking through the ropes and hovering above the crowd and getting counted while still in the ring. WTF!?!?!

Still, as an early WWF license it was competent enough and exhibited the decent presentation but poor execution that would characterize the games for years to come.

WWF Wrestlefest – Arcade

Back in the day I remember some of the other kids at school going crazy about this and its easy to see why. The graphics were great for their time. The only problem that I had with this game is that I could rarely find it anywhere to play. As a kid, the family used to take numerous trips to Cincinnati, Ohio so that my sisters could go to a doctor. I found that in Cincinnati, I was more likely to find an arcade that had this game in it.

If I found it, I was going to play it! I don’t know if I ever won a match…I doubt that I did. I just remember bring mesmerized by the screen and the characters I could play as that were not on previous releases, such as The Legion of Doom, Demolition, and Earthquake.

Not only did this game feature some phenomenal graphics for the time, but it also had some great gameplay that was highlighted by a fun grappling system. When locking up with an opponent, you could bridge into various situations including slams, suplexes, submissions, punching contests, and all sorts of memorable scenarios.

There was also a steel cage match included, and this allowed for some great head bashing against the metal walls; the look of the match was very accurate to the real-life gimmick, as well.

WCW vs NWO World Tour – N64

More than ever, winning became a matter of pure skill and this was the first in a number of AKI’s N64 wrestling games which only ever got better.

I am surprised that my game cartridge still works on this one, I played this game so much back in the day. It was released at a time that my interest in pro wrestling had never been higher. The nWo was growing, ang was posing a serious threat to the WCW.

In the comfort of my own home, I could pick sides and dish out the pain on my TV Screen. Never before had a game featured so many guys on the roster, and they had different outfits that you could chose from! Aside from guys on the WCW and nWo roster, the game also featured guys from other “leagues” that often resembled actual wrestlers who were night signed by the WCW. Good feature!

I could go on and on about this game. I played this thing for hours, and often enjoyed playing the multi-player version with friends. I remember my buddy JD coming after school and playing it most of the evening. Though still very rough around the edges, this was the punk kid that would soon grow up and kick everyone in the ass. Good times…good times.

This isis not only the best wrestling game ever (at this point), but it's also the best fighting game on the system, which is both sad and impressive at the same time. This game quickly became my 2nd favorite multi-player game for the N64, second only to Golden 007.

WCW/NWO Revenge – N64 (1997)

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!! So rather than fiddle around too much with the game mechanics, AKI just made direct improvements to aspects that were clearly lacking in the previous game. More moves, wrestler entrances, managers, PPV arenas and an expanded roster of WCW wrestlers were all worthwhile additions.

The entrances were a huge plus, and so were the updated taunts and move sets. Like World Tour, Revenge also game the player the opportunity to select which outfit the wrestler would wear to the ring. Furthermore, you could even change/edit that outfit! If you wanted to see Sting in the nWo…all you had to do is slap a t-shirt on him, and you were done!

This game came out in October of '97, and I had to wait until Christmas of that year to get my hands on a copy. I remember my friend Nick got it the day it came out, and I was on the phone with him as he played the game for the first time. Needless to say, I spent many a day at Nick's house that November and December.

The initial impact of this game wasn’t there, for it was a lot like World Tour…only updated. But that was a good thing! Would Tour was a great game, and Revenge was only better. BUT, that initial amazement of World Tour holds a special place in my heart.

Goodbye, old friend

A buddy of mine, named Jim King, passed away this morning. I used to work with him years ago at the local I.G.A. He was hilarious...one of the funniest people to be around. He always had a smile on his face, and always did his best to make others smile.

We used to take our lunches together, and scout-out the deli to see what they would be fixing. I enjoyed talking with him, laughing with him, and being around him. After I left the store, a mutural friend of ours kept me updated as Jim ran into some serious health problems. After years of fighting, the end came for him this morning.

At least now he is at peace. But that doesn't change the hurt and pain that his friends and family are feeling and will be feeling. My heart goes out to them.

He was in Hospice care for a little over a week, and I kept trying to convince myself to go see him, but I didn't. I just couldn't see Jim like that. I'd rather see him as he was...happy and full of life.

I have nothing but fond memories of him, and will always remember the time he invited me into his house, his garage, and we drank pink lemonade. Today, the world lost an angel, and I lost a friend.

May you rest easy.